Author: melissa (Page 10 of 40)

Ruminations in the afterglow of my birthday

April 5, 2011 / melissa / 0 Comments

Today is my brother’s birthday. My own birthday was earlier this week. Growing up, my brother and I had a joint birthday party that served as a psuedo family reunion. of course, we grew to the point that we wanted parties with our friends instead. But given their close proximity, the entire week seemed to be Birthday week for both of us.

Even now, it seems to be a birthday week celebration. Like all birthdays, I got a lot of well wishes from friends near and far. I got some gifts. I got to go out to eat and I got a cake. Okay my mother was responsible for the cake. She thinks we should have cake. That’s a big deal for her. It makes her ridiculously happy.

Of course, getting older means thinking about your life and pondering what it means. It also means pondering how you’ve changed over the years and how you want to change in the next years.

I’ve learned the value of friendship, new and old. I’ve learned that sometimes friends grow apart to become strangers and others can pick up right where they left off years earlier.

I’ve learned that I have amazing gifts. I am smart. I am able to work toward long range goals like preparing for a trial or running a half marathon. I am able to talk to a wide variety of people from all walks of life. As a result, I have a wide variety of friends and associates that I have amassed over the years. I can still play piano better than the average bear and I still appreciate a fine book. Hell, I even appreciate a flaming piece of crap book. I have a big heart. I have a memory that, although not photographic, still manages to astound friends and neighbors.

I also have big glaring flaws. I am a perfectionist who finds flaws in everything I do. Sometimes, this perfectionism will lead to procrastination because there’s no way my work will ever be anything but completely full of suck. I have worked hard to let the perfectionism go and just try my best. Due to my “amazing” memory, I take longer to let something go than most people. It’s hard to forgive when you remember something with the donkey kick in the stomach clarity of the first moments of betrayal. I have had to work on letting things go. I eat my feelings. I have a Ph.D in eating my feelings and I have the huge ass to show for it.

I have improved. I used to take all criticism to heart without looking at the motivation of the person doing the criticizing. Now I am better at that. Sometimes people say things out of jealousy and spitefulness. Sometimes criticism isn’t constructive but destructive. It’s always a good idea.

I’ve learned that even with those flaws and even if every flaw professed by my enemies were true, that I am still good enough. I just might even be awesome.

This year I was reminded that we all die and that there is no guarantee for a tomorrow. With that lesson, I am trying to live each day as it is my last and tell people how I feel.

So it’s been a good year. It’s spring now with the birds starting to chirp. I watch my cat in the window watching the birds outside. I watch the birds oblivious to the presence that really wants to eat them. I think about the future. I think about the past. Then I get up and go do something.

R.I.P. Elizabeth Taylor

March 23, 2011 / melissa / 0 Comments

George: You’re a monster – You are.
Martha: I’m loud and I’m vulgar, and I wear the pants in the house because somebody’s got to, but I am not a monster. I’m not.
George: You’re a spoiled, self-indulgent, willful, dirty-minded, liquor-ridden…
Martha: SNAP! It went SNAP! I’m not gonna try to get through to you any more. There was a second back there, yeah, there was a second, just a second when I could have gotten through to you, when maybe we could have cut through all this, this CRAP. But it’s past, and I’m not gonna try.

from Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
I learned this morning that Elizabeth Taylor died. While at the age of 79, she was old enough to go and with her myriad of health problems, she was definitely sick enough to go. It still took my breath away.

She was stunning and had hypnotic violet eyes. She was incredibly brave. She was brave enough to get married eight times, able to pick herself up after each heartbreak to try again. She had a myriad of health problems and yet kept going out to keep acting and raising money for AIDS research. She managed to amass an amazing amount of wealth and yet spent her time tirelessly raising money for AIDS research instead of fading into the life of a socialite.

She looked like an angel but could drink and curse like a devil. She was thin. She gained weight and she lost it again. She did so many things. She will be missed.

(small thanks to Bellesouth for finding this video first)

Friday Five

March 18, 2011 / melissa / 2 Comments

Here’s a random spattering of topics for your amusement.

Drink your milk. Eat your cheese. Don’t eat up like these! My father got his last staples removed from his leg surgery. He fell down on some slick mud. Yeah, that’s right. I said “slick mud.” He had surgery two weeks ago. On Wednesday, my grandmother fell down and broke her femur in multiple places. She had surgery on her leg as well. So far so good. I hope you can’t overdose on calcium.
I don’t know how I found this but here it is. Veronica Mars Season 4.

I am a squeeing fangirl over here. Apparently, this is the footage that Rob Thomas made and showed to the network in a last ditch effort to convince them not to cancel the show. It’s a couple of years later and Veronica is in the FBI. Rob THomas has stated that if he does a Veronica Mars movie that she will not be in the FBI. I want a Veronica Mars movie, dammit! You have no idea how much I love this show.
Keelber Coconut Dreams really do taste like Girl Scout Samoas cookies. WOWZA
I think I’m going to do a long run of six miles or more every weekend.
I love Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters coming! Too much excitement! Too much excitement!

2011 Little Half Marathon recap

March 17, 2011 / melissa / 3 Comments

Well I did it again. This is my third Little Rock half marathon finish. I knew what to expect out of this race as far as the route and the number of people. This year was different in that it was expected to be a lot colder than the previous two years. Also, I managed to procrastinate and didn’t get a hotel close to the race route. This put me in a position where I would have to either drive or use the hotel shuttle and hope it gets me there in a timely manner. Also this year, the race was four days after my father’s leg surgery and so my mother would not be attending with me. This put an end to what was becoming a family tradition. Who am I kidding? She’ll be back next year.

The expo seemed smaller than previous years. I’m not sure if there were less vendors or if the huge display at the front took up so much space. I did manage to get a new headband to keep my ears warm. It says “Will Run for Margaritas” I am a big believer in truth in advertising. I talked to my friends at Go Running!. Then I spend 5 dollars to spend seven minutes in the Aqua Massager.

The Aqua massager was interesting. You place yourself on a table face down with a whole to put your face through to breath. They put a top on top of you similar to a tanning bed but instead of light it squirts water. There is a plastic lining that is against your back. The water then shoots down on your back in a forceful spray similar to the type of “shower massage” you find on some of the fancier showerheads. Although you don’t get wet. The water shoots in a horizontal line that goes up and down your backside from your neck to your feet and back up to your neck again. It was relaxing but a little rough on my neck. Maybe I should have scooted up. I also could definitely tell how tight my quads were after getting off that thing.

I carboloaded with my friends Rebecca, John, and Sophie (aka the most awesome six year old in the world!) at Lily’s Dim Sum, Then Some. Cold Sesame Noodles are carbs. Yes they are. I also had the Dim Sum platter with all of the different Dim Sum that they offer: Chinese potstickers; Wasabi Pork Shaw Mai, Shrimp Dumplings, and Vegetable Goyoza. It’s meant for two people but I was eating it as dinner. GOOD!

RACE DAY

I woke up at 4:30 with some weird soreness in my left glute. I was worried and PISSED. It’s four thirty in the fucking morning on race day. What the hell?! I finally went back to sleep but it wasn’t restful. I woke up with my alarm and I didn’t quite know where I was. I had a weird dream but I don’t remember enough of the details to recall it down. I just remember being very confused. I brushed my hair and put it into a ponytail. SNAP! It broke. Wait. I haven’t run without my hair in a ponytail. I am frantically searching through my bag. No ponytail holder. I am searching through the suitcase. I am searching through the little bag that had my toothpaste and other toiletries. Still no ponytail holder. Houston, we have a problem.

This was a big deal. Running is more mental than anything and that swinging hair was really going to mess with my concentration. I ate French Toast at the hotel and then drove myself to Walgreens. Then I drove myself to the race site. WEll to Heifer International which was semi-close to the race site.

My lower back was hurting. I had to use the restroom. I stood in line for what seemed like a thousand years to use a porta potty. Then I noticed the massage therapists. The line was short. Hell yeah, I took part in that perk. Whatever he did, the therapist got that kink in my back out just in time for me to make it to the “open corral” in the back. By that point, the race had already started and I started walking forward to the starting line.

THE RACE ITSELF

I used Runkeeper to keep myself with intervals of 45 seconds of running and one minute thirty seconds of walking. The first four miles were faster than any of my training runs previously but I felt good so I didn’t even attempt to slow down. I could tell by the log that I was slowing down slightly but I still felt pretty good until about mile 7. Then I got tired. The incline towards the capitol wasn’t pleasant.

Mile 9 in front of the First United Methodist Church of Little Rock was my last hurrah. The steep elevation to the Governor’s Mansion was a killer. Then right after that, my cell phone that I was using for my background music (via Pandora) and my “running coach” died. Well, the battery was out. I knew that there was no way to beat my personal best and no way to do worse than my worst time unless I crawled so I just walked the rest. I didn’t pay attention to pace. I attempted to jog one last time near Vino’s at Mile 11 1/2 but my quad trembled and Isaid “Okay leg, you win.” I continued to walk the rest of the way.

My 10K time was 1:44:14 which was recorded as a pace of 16:47. My Run keeper stopped at distance 10:24 miles with a time 2:54:20 and a pace of 17:01. My finish time was 3:56:47 with a pace of 18:05. Not my best but not my worst. Overall, it was a fun race. No particular bad pain but a nice journey.

I got my medal. I didn’t see anyone I knew by this point. Most of them had finished earlier and were long gone. I started to wait for another massage but for whatever reason, this year, you had to stand in line to wait for one. Screw that. I went back to my hotel and went to bed for a nap.

Review: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

March 17, 2011 / melissa / 0 Comments

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

What does it mean to be a good parent? What are the goals of child rearing? Amy Chua tackles these questions in this funny autobiographical tale of raising her own two children “the Chinese way”: no playdates, nothing less than an A, three hour practice sessions on either the piano or violin, etc.

The youngest daughter is headstrong and fights her mother every step of the way. The oldest daughter is not.

This book gave me a lot to consider about the influence of culture, the strength of children, and the possibility of a “proper” way to raise a child. It was very thought provoking.

IT’s also funny.

View all my reviews

The waiting

March 4, 2011 / melissa / 0 Comments

IT turns out that my father had indeed broken his leg. He broke his tibia near his knee. He had to have surgery with a metal plate and screwss and a whole lot of other things. His surgery was scheduled for Wednesday morning. He and Mom stayed the night in a nearby hotel. I was in Little Rock on business anyway. I met them for dinner and took Dad to Damgoode pies. He asked for spaghetti and meatballs but he also wanted somewhere close to the hospital.

He was told to not eat or drink anything after eight o’clock so there was this sense of urgency on whether the food would come out in time to eat it. There was this palpable sense that this was the last of something. I have no idea if 10 minutes would make a big difference but the doctors told them that if he ate something after eight, they wouldn’t do the surgery so they were very persnickety and nervous about the time limit.

Even though the meal wasn’t that long ago, I remember it with a vividness that tells me that I will remember the evening for quite a while. There was a sense that things will be different after this. They will. Dad will be in a brace for ten weeks. The surgery might not work one hundred percent and he could be put on disability. His surgery went seemlessly. The doctor had another emergency. They waited all day to see if he would be checked out today or tomorrow. He’s coming home tomorrow. THen it’s more waiting to see how he heals up.

So much unknown.

Oh and watch this video made by the GW Law Revue. They are some funny kids.

Little Rock Half Marathon: what to expect

February 27, 2011 / melissa / 4 Comments

For some reason, I seem to know a lot of people who are running the Little Rock half marathon for the first time. This will be my third race. I do it for fun and I’m one of the slower in the back people. In fact, last year I got some weird back spasm around mile 3 and walked the rest of it slowly and ended up being the last person to finish. I still had so much fun that my cheeks hurt from smiling.

So for all my friends and whomever reads this. Here’s what to expect, the Penguin edition.

EXPO

You have to print out your registration confirmation ticket from the website or your email box to bring to the expo to pick up your packet. They have it divided up between type of race and your race number so that part goes rather quickly. There’s a list at the front of the expo in alphabetical order that will tell you your race number. So you’ll get a manilla sized envelope with your goodies and then you’ll go and pick up your t-shirt. Then you go to another guy to get your chip swiped. This confirms that your chip will show up as you in the results. This is how the event tracks your time and confirms you finished. MAKE SURE YOU SWIPE THAT CHIP! All they do is swipe the entire envelope like they do at the grocery store. It’s fairly easy.

In the packet, you’ll find (1) your chip (2) your race number (3) the tag that says half that you put on your back (4) your entry bracelet for the post race party (5) your entry to the Hatcher Perks Pavillion if you paid for that. Then there is some reading material.

Since the packet pickup is in the back, you’ll pass the vendors who are there. This expo is pretty small and won’t wear you out like some of the larger race expos (for example: The Marine Corps Marathon in Washington DC). The local running stores have spots and that is where I got the running gloves, headband to keep my ears warm in winter, and running socks. They’re usually on sale. They have shoes but I have never found my type. Also, there is a guy selling THE STICK. If you have never heard of this thing, it is a plastic stick that is slightly flexible with hands on both ends. You roll it over your sore muscles like a rolling pin over dough. It is amazing. Seriously, it will get those kinks out. Now, depending on how tied up those knots are, it will hurt a little but it is definitely worth the cost. Also, there are places selling refridgerator magnets, bumper stickers, Christmas ornaments and all sorts of other running paraphenalia.

Pasta party

Confession time. I have never gone to the pasta party. I usually have bready deep dish pizza but that’s just me. Do what you usually do and don’t be a hero or listen to me for pre-race eats. I do not want to have you vomiting on race day on my head. But I am familiar with the hotel and they usually have good food.

Hatcher Perks Pavillion

I have done this both years. They have porta potties really close to the starting line. They also have a space to leave post race change gear. They also have MASSAGE THERAPISTS!! oh sweet baby Jesus this makes the thirty something fee worth it.

The Race itself

If you’ve never run a longer race, you’ll notice there’s a lot more people than you’re used to seeing it a race.

IF I recall, one year the start was ON TIME!! and the other year was a little late.

Due to the chip, you don’t have to actually start “racing” until you cross the official starting line. So walk that sucker. Don’t worry everybody else will be walking and people are friendly so if you forget, someone will tell you to slow down until the line. It can be up to five minutes for you to even reach the starting line depending on how far back you are.

A. The First Five miles

Mile two and Mile five are on the Broadway bridge. The cool thing about this is that the elite athletes will becoming back on the bridge by the time you make it there. Remember, they actually started five minutes before you even crossed the starting line and they go a lot faster than you. The amazing thing is that they’re going really fast and yet they make it look so easy.

North Little Rock is really proud of their participation in the Little Rock Marathon. Usually, the mayor is at the end of the bridge to welcome you to North Little Rock. There’s a lot of entertainment on this side of the river: marching bands, country music, cheerleaders, people just cheering to be cheering. You’ll also pass your first water stations.

The downer to this part of the race is that there is a lot of passing of people. It’s still crowded and you will encounter the bane of my existence. The more than two group of people, usually women, who decide to just walk in a horizontal line. Now when it’s four people, it’s beginning for an impromptu game of Red Rover. Also, when it is that large of a group, they are just chatting and having a grand ole time and are OBLIVIOUS!!! to the people around them. Seriously, I’m glad that three or more of your besties are running and walking with you at the half but seriously, you make it impossible to pass and you take a significant chunk of road when you do this. For some reason, I think these groups split up because I don’t notice this phenomena near the end of the race as much as I do in the beginning. It harshes my running happy and turns me into an F-Bomb machine!!!!

Okay… now that rant is over. Seriously I hate those fuckers.

Okay now it is over.

The Second Five Miles

Once you get across the bridge, it’s pretty urban with office buildings until you get to the 10K marker. Then you’ll be approaching McArthur Park. You’ll run around half of the park on 9th and then Commerce. It’s fairly quiet around here. Then you will cross the overpass that cuts you across I-630. Just on the other side of I-630, you’ll get to the ENTHUSIASTIC water station. They are happy to see you and you are happy to see them. Then you’ll get back on Scott Street and pass Villa Marre aka the Designing Woman House

Mile 8 is up Capitol street to the Arkansas State Capitol. It’s pretty much one big upwards climb. It’s tiring.

Then you turn around and at mile 9, there is a Methodist Church that really does it out for the runners. They got balloons, music, and a big crowd of people cheering you on.

Then you’ll go down Center over another overpass over I-630 to the Governor’s mansion. That road is a steady incline too. By this point, I am tired. You’ll be tired too.

The last 3.1 miles

For some reason, these last 3.1 miles is sparse. There are three water stations and they are screaming and enthusiastic. There are people playing music from their porches but other than that it is pretty bare. Also, due to the fact that it is the end, you’ll be tired and your knee or back will act up if it is going to act up by this point. It’s the part of the race where you face the mental test of whether or not to stop or keep going. It’s the time where you are making deals with God and giving yourself the “okay three steps and then I’m walking and then two more steps” Once you get past the overpass on Chester, it’s all downhill and/or straight until you get to the turn at La Harpe. It’s pure adrenaline because you know you’re ALMOST DONE! There are people all lined up by this point. You get one last water break. If you’re a woman, you can stop for free lipstick.

Then you’ll see the crowds of people hanging out and then you’ll cross the line. There are bleachers at this point. Someone will come and take off your timing chip. Another people will wrap you up in mylar. Yet another volunteer will put the finisher’s medal around your neck. Another person will be handing out bananas. THen you’ll be in the Athlete’s village. Usually, there is someone handing out bananas, milk and chocolate milk, and hot dogs. ‘

And you’re done. yee haww.

MAN DOWN!

February 18, 2011 / melissa / 0 Comments

1. First, my father broke his leg. He fell down at work about two weeks ago. (He works in construction and this was on site) He slipped on some mud. Well, I have heard the story so many times, I can recite it as he would tell it.

“Well I was going down basement and I could have went all the way around and took the steps but this way was closer. Then I was slipping and a sliding and my toe hit something and down I went. I knew that [name redacted] and [name redacted] were on the other side. SO I started shouting but it seemed the harder I shouted, the quieter I was. So I picked up my phone and called them. They came running to where I was and they started slipping and a sliding. But they got down there and tried to pick me up but they couldn’t. SO they got a board and the other one got a track hoe. They loaded me on that board and picked me up and put me on the track hoe. Then [someone else whose name is redacted] saw me and yelled, “Hey what are you doing with [Melissa’s dad]!?” and they got me out of there.”

Well that’s the short part of the story. Then he tried to call my mother on her cell and couldn’t get her because then he called me on my cell. He thought he was okay to drive and drove about 80 miles back to his house. He then went to the doctor and got an x-ray. They didn’t find a broken bone and sent him home with a muscle relaxer and two kinds of pain pills. They also scheduled an appointment to get an MRI to see the tendons and ligaments.

Well, those muscle relaxers and pain pills were the GOOD STUFF. He was convinced he heard people trying to steal his truck outside. He was having conversations with people who weren’t there. They would disappear when Mom would ask, “who are you talking to?” He was seeing bugs and at one point, he saw a dog walk through the house and tried to get up to protect the cat. Another time, he was sleep but he was moving his hands. He appeared to be fishing with one hand throwing out the line and the other hand reeling it in. It was quite amusing. Okay, I’ll fess up. It was more than amusing. Some of it was downright hilarious. Oh poor Daddy.

My Mom celebrated Valentine’s Day by taking my Dad back to the doctor to get him some drugs that didn’t make my Dad so freaking loopy.

Then he had an MRI and it turned out that he did break his leg. It was the top of his tibia near his knee cap. The kneecap obscured the view in the x ray. So now he has an appointment with an orthopedic specialist.

It’s been an interesting experience around here with my Dad on the recliner and Mom waiting after him. Occasionally, due to being self employed, I get called to take up the slack and make sure my Dad doesn’t slip and fall when he tries to get up and go to the bathroom.

It’s sweet to watch how my parents love each other. How my Mom buys my brother, my Dad, and myself these goofy stuffed animals. My Dad then takes the stuffed animal and uses it as a “neck warmer.” She gets his water. He winks at her.

Let’s do this

February 15, 2011 / melissa / 0 Comments

Okay I started weight watchers two weeks ago. I am currently on week three. I managed to lose a bunch of pounds and then gain some of it back. I’m using the new points plus system that they have and it’s this weird formula using protein, carbs, fiber, and fat. Also, fruit and veggies are mostly free. Of course, there is the caveat to not go crazy. I forget the actual terms. I have discovered a love of smoothies. Smoothies are the closest thing to chemistry I have experienced in a long time. I like it. There is the suspense of wondering “what color will this be once I press blend?” Usually, it’s a shade of purple since I have been using pomegranate juice as a base. Sometimes it’s more red. One day, it looked like bona fide mud from the back yard. I might have to start photoblogging these things.

I have also been getting back to a jogging routine. I can’t even call it running with a straight face. But I am out there and I am doing it. I am loosely following a half marathon training program schedule and did 9 1/2 miles this Sunday. The Little Rock half marathon is the first weekend in March so it is coming up SOON!. My pace is slow and I might have to do the get up super early start. blargh. Yeah, I am not looking forward to that. I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. But I will finish. It will be my third year.

I also got a subscription to Runner’s World and am contemplating the Women can run clinic. I will be attempting to do longer running stretches and increasing my speed. I think I am going to keep on doing a long run of at least 6 miles from now on during the weekends. I like the way my mind wanders while I’m going a longer distance. Somehow my mind manages to clean a lot of gunk out when I’m exhausted. I believe it would be what yogis call “moving meditation.”

No Strings Attached

February 12, 2011 / melissa / 0 Comments

Yes I admit I paid money to watch this movie in a theater. I could watch Natalie Portman read a phone book but seriously, it was all about movie screen sized naked Ashton Kutcher. Yeah I could have waited for video but MOVIE SCREEN SIZED NAKED ASHTON KUTCHER. Yes. Yesh indeed.

err. okay. Back to the movie.

Natalie Portman plays Emma who is a doctor going through her residency. Ashton Kutcher plays Adam, the son of a famous comedian who is a writer. They meet at summer camp when they are in their teens. Then they meet again at a college party in Michigan. Then they meet again at a farmer’s market and discover they live in the same town.

They have sex. They decide to have sex in a fuck buddy arrangement. Can they stay fuck buddies or will they fall in love? Duh, we all know the answer to this question and the movie doesn’t try to play a “will they or won’t they” scenario. The movie just tells the story of how these two characters became a couple.

This movie reverses the cliche with Emma having the commitment issues.

The assortment of friends and relatives are quite entertaining and charming. The women are portrayed as smart and sex isn’t seen as something completely dirty. For a movie about fuck buddies, there’s hardly any raunch at all. Okay there’s little to no raunch. This movie isn’t in the vein of American Pie. It’s more in the vein of when Harry Met Sally. The entire time I was wondering where I had seen Emma’s sister. You’ve seen her in Juno.

It’s entertaining. IT’s not epic and probably won’t be a classic. It does give you the chance to see Wesley from THe Princess Bride. He plays a doctor at the hospital.

Oh and the commitment issues presented in the movie opened up the Pandora’s box of my own commitment issues. I’m a closed off woman, folks. My heart has been embedded in ice for years. This movie made me cry about it for a second. DAMN YOU NAKED ASHTON!

ahem.. but that’s not so much the movie as me being a crazy person. 3 stars.

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