Melissa Runs

Sometimes, Melissa runs her legs. Sometimes, she runs her mouth.

Month: December 2008 (page 1 of 4)

2008 in pictures (the person ones)

And so it begins

I got a gym membership for Christmas but didn’t fill out the forms until January 1st.

Breezy loves you.

This is Breezy the most awesome dog in the universe. I spent last New Year’s day at her house. She’s a party animal.

Max in the sun.

Max, my pretty pretty kitty, got murdered by two Rottweilers while enjoying the outdoors. Seriously, they were trying to eat him. They cracked his spine and broke one of his legs off at the hip. The leg was hanging on by the skin. My town really needs to enforce its leash laws better.

The backup bridesmaids Pt. 2

I went to my friend Tiffany’s wedding in Tulsa. We were known as the “backup bridesmaids”

Big scary.... cougar..

I met Bellesouth and Debbie at the Tulsa zoo. Unfortunately, I was so excited by the animals I didn’t get a picture of us. LOOK that Cougar. There’s no fence. NO FENCE!


It snowed in March. That is creepy enough to get a mention and picture here.

more greek folk dancing

I went to Greek Food Fest and had gyros and watched some folk dancing. It was fun.

Canned tomatoes

I spent the Fourth of July at my Grandmother’s house. She was canning tomatoes. She always keeps a garden.

Hillary Rodham Clinton

This was an Obama rally on the steps of the capital. The special guest was Hillary Clinton.

Team Fabulous 2008

Race for the Cure with Team Fabulous. That is a fun group of women, y’all.


These were some great guys and this sign still cracks me up.

The lovely Kennett sign

Went to Kennett Missouri to campaign for Obama. Also stopped by Tennessee to have dinner and beer with Kevin.


My friend’s son celebrated his 10th birthday at the bowling alley. I got to come along. I got conned into serving the ice cream. GAH!

The whoopass is being dispensed right about now

This is the County Clerk and the Chief of Police getting into a heated argument over why he can’t close the parking area of the fire station for a training exercise on the same day the fire station is being used as a polling place. Oh it was craziness. This was also in Missouri.

Me at the finish line after picking up my goodie bag

I ran Craig’s Jingle Bell 5K.

Hunchback of Vino's.

DMZ 20 year reunion show at Vino’s with Matt Besser. Good times.

Christmas Dinner

Christmas came and went. That’s the food. NOM NOM

There you go. While there were ups and downs, it seems to be a good year.

last words

Don’t you just hate it when you are put in a situation that frustrates you and then ten minutes later, you think of the perfect response? Or you want to be tactful and so you don’t exactly tell the truth. Or you’re just chickenshit and don’t express your true feelings. Yeah I have those moments too. Here are some of those thoughts.

  • You, me, everybody and their mama knows that you don’t give a crap about this community. You only care about yourself. That letter you wrote didn’t fool anybody.
  • You’re a bigot that puts the ass in assbackwards. I am ashamed to be related to you
  • You’re smart, funny, cute, and have a treasure trove of varied interests. I am truly surprised you don’t realize how fucking awesome you are. I want to kiss you smack dab on the mouth and stay up til the wee hours of the morning talking about bullshit. Your bullshit is more entertaining than John Stewart.
  • I’m sorry I’m not a petty, vindictive good old boy. Oh wait, I’m not.
  • Maybe it’s been years since you’ve been in a relationship because you’re too self centered to notice anyone else or their needs. I’m just saying.
  • You are my hero. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me but I’m a loser like this.
  • We’re not friends because I think you take me for granted and I hate the person I become when interacting with you. I feel you don’t respect my boundaries and that I have to constantly keep my guard up or you will suck me dry. That’s no way to live. I do remember you fondly and you will always have a small part of my heart.
  • YES WE DID. CHANGE DID COME! I am so impressed by you. Have a great inauguration! (oops this one is easy to figure out). BUT shame on you for not liking “girly dogs” Breezy is a girly dog but she is awesome AND hypoallergenic. Breezy the white bichon frise would be the perfect white house dog.
  • Woah you really let yourself go. Get off your ass and lose some poundage. damn.
  • Okay that little know it all kiss the teacher’s ass while stabbing your colleagues in the back bullshit you got going on is old.
  • When I heard that you married a wealthy doctor who is ten years your senior, I thought to myself, “yeah he always wanted to be a kept man.” I feel very sad that our relationship has deteriorated to the point that this is the first thought I think.
  • Look I don’t care who you are, the ten items or less means ten ITEMS or less not ten BAGS OF ITEMS or less. Shame on you, you fucking bitch. And shame on your ms. cashier for not calling her on it. Oh and the part where you act like I’m in the wrong for saying something, well you’re lucky I didn’t send a letter to corporate with your name on it.
  • Alright, your power is going out. I waited until it got especially cold to tell Detroit that your account is with a fake identity. Sucks to be you, you big criminal. At least jail will be warmer than your no power place.

2008 sucked but not completely

Yeah this year was bad. The economy went to the toilet. People are losing their houses and their jobs. It’s chaos. Some fool managed to steal my identity and I am having fun with creditors. Also, I no longer have a job I hated. This is a good and bad thing. The bad thing is that my income went down—way down.

Here are some recaps.

Poop on the sidewalk in front of my office: BAD

A very special Christmas present

George W. Bush getting a shoe thrown at his head: GOOD. REAL GOOD

Sarah Palin’s interview with Katie Couric: BAD BAD BAD

Tina Fey’s mocking of Sarah Palin’s interview with Katie Couric: GREAT!

Team Fabulous racing for the Cure.

Team Fabulous 2008


Tripping over Breezy’s Christmas present and breaking it.

uh oh.


Michael Phelps winning a gazillion gold medals. GOOD

Chinese gymnast age controversy. BAD

Usain Bolt = Good/bad

Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker in The Dark Knight. GOOD

Heath Ledger dying. BAD. Very very bad.

Going to Erica’s Halloween party. GOOD (even GREAT)
Everyone and their Mama (including my own MAMA) forgetting my birthday. BAD… real bad. (okay I got some props from facebook but seriously no freaking phone calls or acknowledgement in the non-internet realm. That is sucking y’all.

Canvassing for Obama: good

Canvassing map

Poll watching/voter protecting for Obama: even better.

Voting Rights team represent.

Obama winning: fan-freaking awesome.

More hugging for an Obama win.

Racists going crazy after Obama wins. (thanks for putting the ass in assbackwards guys) BAD BAD BAD

Sarah Silverman fucking Matt Damon. Bad for Jimmy Kimmel Great for US!

Jimmy Kimmel’s revenge. EVEN BETTER!


I love running and today was a very nice seven mile run. It was the same pace I usually run but it didn’t feel tiring. Also, I ran up and down some hills so it should have been more strenuous and slower than my other runs. Somehow I did it and I feel very proud of myself. Yes I am a dork.

I paid the registration fee for the Little Rock half marathon. I have talked and written about it for quite a while but I finally took the leap and paid it. Now I have to go. Well I don’t have to do anything but the fee is non refundable. I have told everybody and their mother. People have even said they would show up to cheer me on. Really? Cheer little old me?! I’m not worthy. Of course, I have a self esteem problem. Or not.

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine wrote about something that was very tragic and painful. I feel empathy for her and her struggle. Unfortunately for me, it is freakishly close to one of my own “very bad events in my life.” As a result, I’ve been a hot mess. I’ve been binging on food like it’s going out of style. I’ve made a very bad trip down to the swampy ugly pothole filled parts of memory lane and I am desperately searching back to Present-ville.

I’m looking towards the future and making plans to change a whole lot about my life. I have managed to put myself in a rut. I need to get out of it.

Festivus in Adams Morgan

Festivus in Adams Morgan

Originally uploaded by mringlein

I love DC. They’re all about the free expression of all religious beliefs including the celebration of made up holidays that originated on TV sitcoms. Santa celebrating Festivus: PRICELESS

I can do it with my eyes closed


Originally uploaded by melissathegoofy

This was a meme.

1. Open paint
2. Close your eyes.
3. Draw a cat.

I did a pretty gosh darn good job.

Also, I officially registered (i.e. paid for) for the Little Rock half marathon. I’m officially in it. No backing out now.

A very special Christmas present

People, in general, tend not to like lawyers. We’ve all heard the lawyer jokes.

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

“How much does it cost for engineer brain?”

“Three dollars an ounce.”

“How much does it cost for programmer brain?”

“Four dollars an ounce.”

“How much for lawyer brain?”

“$1,000 an ounce.”

“Why is lawyer brain so much more?”

“Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?”

So today, when I stopped by my office, I was a little amused and horrified to see this.

A very special Christmas present

Uh oh. Is that what I think it is? Let’s look closer.

Close up of a very special Christmas present.

It is. It is. Now I know people who have said I was full of crap. I have have never had anyone leave a visual aid before today.

Of course, this could just be a coincidence and the unfortunate side effect of our tiny hamlet not having any pooper scooper laws. (that is a big dog). Then again, the other office mate in my office complex is non profit that works with juvenile delinquents.

And a ho ho ho to you

I left the one in the house and another cat outside because I couldn’t find him. Then I went over the hills and through the woods to grandma’s house. Literally.

By the time I got there, everyone else had eaten the Christmas eve dinner of Ham, pimento and cheese sandwiches, salad, and as much snack food type things as you can imagine. That has been the tradition. Back in the day, everybody and their mama used to come to my grandma’s house and celebrate Christmas eve at her house. Sometimes, there would be booze. There is a particularly rowdy year when I was 12 where I think everyone including my 10 year old brother got closer to hammered than the child welfare people would have liked. But oh what a memory that was.

Now that we’re grown, most of those families that used to come visit have grown kids and they celebrate Christmas eve at their own houses. But my grandmother still cooks like 30 people are going to show up.

Another tradition is that we open presents on Christmas eve. This is also a take off from our youth. Back in the day,we would open our presents on Christmas eve to make room under the tree for Santa to open and set up our presents. OH it was a good time. Of course, we got old and said we didn’t believe in Santa and so he doesn’t come around anymore no matter how many times I send a letter to the North Pole telling him I was just kidding.

I got a GPS navigator for the car, some cash, makeup (my brother always buys me makeup), and other assorted nicknacks. It was fun. Mom got clothes. My grandmother got all sorts of riotous gear.

Today we had the traditional turkey and dressing fest with turkey, cornbread dressing, baked beans, green salad, potato salad, fruit salad, cookies, pies, and sweet potatoes. I’m sure I’m missing something but you get the idea.

It was also a reunion with Breezy the best dog in the world and myself. Oh she loves me. There was a jumping and a licking and barking. Those were some good times.

I also ran an easy four miles.

Also, Breezy has a sore back leg and can’t jump up on the bed anymore. (She sleeps with my grandmother). So she got little step ladder so she can get back on the bed without whining and waking up my grandmother. Last night, I managed to step on that thing and go timber to the ground. I got some major carpet burn on one knee. OH it was a funny thing to see. HA ha and more ha.

Now that I’m older and busier, I appreciate just being able to hang out with my family and relax. Doing nothing used to be boring and now it’s a luxury.

Melissa bakes and doesn't blow up the house

I am not a very good cook. Once, I burned the Rice-a-roni. So any time the culinary arts are pursued, it’s with tense anticipation and a little spirit of adventure. Will I forget an ingredient? Will the yeast actually rise? Will the fire department be making a special guest appearance? All of these things could happen.

So this year I decided to participate in the family annual cookie spree. Instead of making treats of cakes and pies, our family makes cookies– lots of different types of cookies. As far as I know, this year’s festivities will include gingersnaps, chocolate chip, sugar cookies in the shape of feet (it’s a family tradition), and black and white cookies.

I made the black and white cookies. Black and white cookies are a staple of New York bakeries. They are so quintessential New York City that they even made a guest appearance on Seinfeld.

I found this recipe on epicurious and thought I’d give it a try. According to the reviews, it seemed fairly authentic and not hard to make.

December2008 032

I mix the dough and then I load it up via 1/4 cup spoonfuls like the instructions said.

December2008 033

Then as I wait for them to bake, I see the bowl of buttermilk and vanilla sitting by the OVEN. CRIKEY!!!

The fuck ups looked like this and turned out to be very tasty. They had the consistency of a very packed biscuit but sweet.

December2008 039

I made another batch and put the icing on and voila!

<img src=”” width=”500″ height=”375″ alt=”December2008 038″ /

Hey HO! let's go!

Facebook is a funny thing. It’s like a virtual high school, college, and workplace reunion all in one. You end up seeing people from your distant and not so distant past. They post pictures of their kids as well as pictures from the distant and not so distant past. Sometimes you catch up on mutual friends and whatnot.

This whole social network reconnecting is how I got invited to the DMZ reunion at Vino’s. I hadn’t seen her since school but it was a punk show. I live in the country and they don’t play punk down here so I was down with it. Also, Vino’s has great food. No seriously, it gets great reviews in the papers and everything. Yes I have eaten here before and it is on my short list of stops when I’m in town.

Of course, even though I had RSVP’d weeks in advance, the weather reports were threatening sleet on that day. And dammit I was a going.

And GO I did.

First, Arkansas has had a long and varied punk scene since the eighties. In fact, there is a documentary about the whole thing called Towncraft. Also, Evanescence (not punk) came from here. Another guitarist from one of the local bands went on to be in Green Day. So this DMZ 20 year reunion was sort of a big deal.

To answer your question, yes I had one of those awesome calzones. I had a snack for dinner and then ordered a calzone and ate half of it. I indulged but responsibly so.

The show was fun. Here are some pictures.

Hunchback of Vino's.

Matt Besser as the “Hunchback of Vino’s”


This is a very dark picture of what I believe to be “Trusty” playing. I might even have the band wrong. Man it was late.

No Stage Diving

This is the sign to the left of the stage. There were several of these around the stage. but but .. it was a punk show. What do you mean no stage diving? Then again, this was a twenty year REUNION SHOW. This means the average age was probably thirtyish.

Arkansas is a really small place. The entire population is about two million people and when you divide the age groups and then put the city dwellers and the people who would like punk music, well you see what I mean. I saw a bunch of people I recognized, which was nice. There was also this one guy who did this very public defriending of me on myspace complete with a blog entry about the whole thing. I haven’t experienced anything like that since the whole junior high “no you can’t sit at my lunch table anymore” scene. in well, junior high. And yet I don’t know what I did to offend so righteous indignationly. (is that even word? I don’t care!) So that was a little, what’s the word, AWKWARD! for minute.

What is about Social networks that bring out the worst of junior high school behavior and social politics in people who are old enough to know better? I just want to know.

But I survived and I go where I want to go, when I want to go. I’m a bad ass like that. Now if the place had only allowed mosh pitting, I would have been all good.

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