but I'm too quiet to be a Bette . . .

You are a Bette — “I must be strong”

Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Stand up for yourself… and me.
• * Be confident, strong, and direct.
• * Don’t gossip about me or betray my trust.
• * Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
• * Give me space to be alone.
• * Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don’t flatter me.
• * I often speak in an assertive way. Don’t automatically assume it’s a personal attack.
• * When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that’s just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a Bette

• * being independent and self-reliant
• * being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
• * being courageous, straightforward, and honest
• * getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
• * supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
• * upholding just causes

What’s Hard About Being a Bette

• * overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don’t intend to
• * being restless and impatient with others’ incompetence
• * sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
• * never forgetting injuries or injustices
• * putting too much pressure on myself
• * getting high blood pressure when people don’t obey the rules or when things don’t go right

Bettes as Children Often

• * are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
• * are sometimes loners
• * seize control so they won’t be controlled
• * figure out others’ weaknesses
• * attack verbally or physically when provoked
• * take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

Bettes as Parents

• * are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
• * are sometimes overprotective
• * can be demanding, controlling, and rigid