George H.W. Bush died two days ago and his death brings up a very profound and unique phenomenon in life: the way we treat our dead. I have seen the obituaries and I have seen the criticism that we, as an American society, are only focusing on the good side of George Bush. Well, he did just die, but to be fair, when a police officer shoots an African American, the dead African American’s drug use and other criminal activity gets noted in the press when he dies.
It seems that since the development of the internet and our ability to get a wider breadth of information, we have become incapable of exploring the depth of information. Everyone and everything gets oversimplified. Our brains, even before the internet, in an effort to be more efficient catalogs information in schemas and instinctually notes information that confirms stereotypes while ignoring information that contradicts those stereotypes. It’s hard to deal with information that does not fit a linear or cohesive function.
So that is what is happening with George H.W. Bush right now. He died at 94 and that’s a good age for dying. If by 94, you didn’t do everything you wanted to do, then that’s on you. You definitely had enough time. He became President after Ronald Regan after being his vice president for eight years. Ronald Regan was quite the charismatic guy and George Bush came across as his smarter much more boring accountant. But he did fight in World War 2 and worked in the CIA so he seemed to have some experience. He also had his share of controversy including Iran Contra.
So who is right. Everyone. People are messy. People are imperfect. Of course, he was charming. Charm is a part of politics. It was also a simpler time when there was less tribalism in politics and there was more discourse. Some of his policies through people under the bus and his policies regarding AIDS were bordering on cruel. I’m sure there are people out there who hate his guts. No one living gets through life without pissing someone off. It’s the imperfection of humanity. We fuck up. We get angry and say cruel things. We get wrapped up in our own lives and neglect other people and things. It’s the human condition. We strive to be better and sometimes we fail.
But I think in these times, it is necessary to take a step back and remember the purpose of an obituary. Who keeps an obituary? The close members of the family and people who were close enough to the deceased to go to the funeral. (An obituary is also used by genealogists. It tells you the surviving family members and the predeceased but that’s another topic) It’s part of the ceremony we use to comfort those who are left behind. Family and friends want to know that the person whose death has so broken their hearts was remembered fondly by others. They want a story about how the person who just died made a difference in their own lives. They want validation that their pain is real. So the family cuts out the obituary and puts it in a book somewhere and it sits there. An obituary isn’t intended to be an exhaustive history of the person. It’s meant to be a memento.
So maybe out of respect for the people who saw George H.W. Bush as a father, a cousin, a friend, and a colleague that we step back and focus on those positive moments that made him a great person. Yes, we remember something fond of him, too. I’m sorry for your loss. Even public figures have families. We can analyze his broader legacy in the coming weeks.
and was in a funk for a week. I also threw up due to the sheer turmoil of it all. It’s pretty gore free. But it is an extremely well made film telling a very ugly tale.