I survived. I wasn’t dead last. I’m a happy (and sore) camper. It’s also late. I will write in detail later.
Tag: Arkansas (Page 9 of 10)
Last Thursday, I got an email from my friend Jennybee saying something similar to “when I opened my closet and found a blue suit jacket in my size, I thought the plus size clothes fairy had visited me but then I realized that it is probably yours”
Oops. The jacket was sitting in the front closet and yes I did completely forget about it. It was the jacket to my favorite suit and I would have been very disappointed come court appearance time not to have it at my disposal.
As luck would have it, she was coming to a town close to mine to celebrate her mother’s birthday and agreed to meet me so I could return her copy of Revolutionary Road
She was coming to the town near my town to celebrate her Mom’s birthday. She was a sweetie and invited me to meet her at Red Lobster where they would be having a birthday dinner. Awwwww.
Then we went to see Slumdog Millionaire
TOWNCRAFT
I vividly remember the first time I saw Slingblade. It was a matinee showing in a five screen movie theater in Dupont Circle (Washington DC). I remember scaring the other viewers because of my giggling. The movie itself wasn’t necessarily humorous but there were moments in that movie that were so quintessentially Arkansan and so represented Arkansans and people I knew that I couldn’t help but laugh in recognition.
This feeling of recognition was one I also felt while watching Towncraft.
Towncraft is about the punk scene in the late 80s/early 90s in Little Rock Arkansas. Apparently, one of the cool things to do during that time was start your own punk band or make a zine about the punk bands. Many fourteen and fifteen year old boys and girls began playing in bands. Eventually, venues began to open up for them to play. One guy opened up his own record store. They began making their own records and going on tour —All before they finished high school.
Of course, like all things involving high school kids, the bands break up and the musicians make new bands. This means that each time you see a person talking, s/he has a different band name under his or her face. That was amusing to me.
Several of the bands went to larger cities to try and make it. Some made albums. One guy, Jason White, is now a guitarist for Green Day. This movie is more about people being true to art than actually making. It’s also a nostalgic trip down memory lane for anyone who’s around Arkansas.
Amazingly enough these were my peers. Some of them I have met. Some of the people on the edges on this scene were friends of mine. I’ve seen some of these bands live.
The movie also has a companion website that has all sorts of goodies.
Supersize Me
Holy Shit! This movie scared me. It’s a simple premise. Morgan Spurlock decides that he’s going to eat nothing but McDonald’s food for 30 days. He’s also going to only walk the average number of steps as an “average American.” He manages to gain a truckload of weight. He gets liver damage. He develops heart palpitations and one doctor even demands around day 20 that he stop this diet.
All on McDonald’s burgers, fries, chicken nuggets, and shakes.
Hubert Selby Jr.: It’ll Be Better Tomorrow
Hubert Selby Jr. is known as the author of Requiem for a Dream and Last Exit to Brooklyn. This documentary includes interviews with Selby, his friends, the makers of Requiem for a Dream and Last Exit to Brooklyn, Henry Rollins, and a whole host of other people who have been influenced by the author. Selby, like his characters, endured a life of illness and heroin addiction.
Last weekend, I had to make a business trip to Fort Smith to tend to some rather stressful business. Since I’ve never been to that part of the state and have tons of friends who live there, I thought I would make it a “big fun weekend” Okay to be fair, the stressful business was originally scheduled for Tuesday but God intervened with the big block of ice.
Anyway, away I go to Fort Smith on Friday. I don’t put enough money in the meter and get a parking ticket. SCORE!
Meanwhile, I’m trying to get coordinated with friends via facebook from Kinko’s because I’ve never been to Fort Smith and don’t know any free wifi places.
I am supposed to meet up with Jennybee later that day. I’ve known Jennybee since high school, which was . . . TWO YEARS AGO! Yes. two years ago. Anyway, a lot has happened in those two years. We’ve dated some losers. Got married, divorced, moved to other states, moved back to Arkansas and a whole host of other things. Hey those were some busy years.
Well I was typing at Kinko’s and pop. There she is. I say “Hi Jennybee” and go back typing.
Yes I’m a dork like that. Then I got up and got all excited and we hugged and acted like 12 year old girls.
One of the fascinating things about seeing someone from your past is that you are instantly reminded of the person you used to be. You see how you’ve changed and how you haven’t.
I got the tour of the house and looked at the shelves and shelves of books and movies. I met the dog and the cat. Both were absolutely adorable. Of course, they loved me. The animals always love me. I emit a scent called “she who gives treats”
We ended up eating at Papa’s Pizza. (YUM!) and I finally met her husband Ben. Ben is a writer. He loves words. In fact, when I told him that Dork was a real word meaning Whale penis, he asked me if it was slang. (well looking it up, I find vulgar slang for “penis” Although someone who is not me at yahoo answers put that it meant whale penis as well. hrmm.) He is also perfect for my friend. Oh and he’s a beer aficionado.
There was eating and chatting. Then we went to their house and more chatting until I just popped out vegging in front of the TV.
The next day was scanning old pictures. More chatting and then they had to work and I had to go.
It was off to the Postsecret exhibit. There was still ice on the ground in Bentonville which was odd since I didn’t get ice at all. The roads were ice free
As I was driving to Bentonville, I got a call from Renee who was sick and would not be eating dinner with me. boo.
For some reason I didn’t take any pictures of the exhibit. I don’t remember a sign up saying that I couldn’t. It seemed a little intrusive to take pictures of these secrets even though they had already been posted up on the internet. They were still fascinating little bits of humanity hanging on a wall. It’s amazing how the adage that “the most personal is the most universal” seems to be true. There were secrets of fear, loss, shame, infidelity, and unmentioned crimes. No matter how odd and out of sync with the world you feel, you can find yourself somewhere in those postcards.
After that, it was a trip to SEPHORA. I love Sephora. It’s a store that sells nothing but beauty products. Yeah I know that I do not necessarily look like a person who would be all giggly over a beauty products store but I am. Sephora has testers of each and every product they sell. Oh the smelling and the testing. I had way too much fun testing lip gloss, tinted moisturizers, blush . . . you name it. I ended up getting the famous Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion (the tinted style). Bellesouth did a review of that stuff and apparently, it does make your eyeshadow last all day.
After that I ended up making attempts to get in touch with Peter which failed and I ended up eating dinner at Doe’s Eat Place in Fayetteville alone. It didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would since I had so many plans to see so many people. The ice storm threw people for a loop and other people, like Ms. Bellesouth, already had plans for the weekend penciled in weeks in advance.
So it was a good trip. It was nice to know that some of the friends you make will last. Also, I’m stronger and more adventurous than I thought. I do eventually get over it, no matter what “it” is. I was pleased to learn that my Garmin does work and is quick to becoming the most prized possession in my car.
Arkansas doesn’t really get that cold. Most of the time the weather is above freezing and every once in a while it will dip below freezing at night time. We rarely get snow and when we do it rarely last longer than 24 hours before it melts away. If there is a form of cold precipitation to be had, it’s going to be an ice storm.
The state is currently under state of emergency due to an ice storm. The northern part of the state is all icy with a thousands of people out of power. So far three people have died and there is a six vehicle pile up on the interstate (four tractor trailer rigs and two cars).
Fortunately where I live has merely been cold but without much rain and nothing much to freeze up. IN fact, it was so wet that my cat fell into the drainage ditch and is now all sopping wet. He is now very cranky but sitting in front of the heater to get warm and dry out. He’s a smart kitty that way.
When he’s very cold, he’ll sit so close to the heater that I’m afraid he’s going to singe some of his hair.
I have a business engagement scheduled in one of the towns that has ice. I keep calling every morning to confirm whether or not I am to drive six hours to make this meeting or no. Yes it’s a pain in the ass. Not nearly as much as a pain in the ass as having no power in below freezing temperatures but a small pain in the ass nonetheless.
One of my friends has a tree that is slowly losing its limbs one by one and he’s panicing that sooner or later, one of those limbs is going to hit his house and cause damage.
So now I sit inside, write letters that I’ve been needing to write and wait to see what I am going to do for the rest of the week.
Stay safe and keep warm everybody.
I got a gym membership for Christmas but didn’t fill out the forms until January 1st.
This is Breezy the most awesome dog in the universe. I spent last New Year’s day at her house. She’s a party animal.
Max, my pretty pretty kitty, got murdered by two Rottweilers while enjoying the outdoors. Seriously, they were trying to eat him. They cracked his spine and broke one of his legs off at the hip. The leg was hanging on by the skin. My town really needs to enforce its leash laws better.
I went to my friend Tiffany’s wedding in Tulsa. We were known as the “backup bridesmaids”
I met Bellesouth and Debbie at the Tulsa zoo. Unfortunately, I was so excited by the animals I didn’t get a picture of us. LOOK that Cougar. There’s no fence. NO FENCE!
It snowed in March. That is creepy enough to get a mention and picture here.
I went to Greek Food Fest and had gyros and watched some folk dancing. It was fun.
I spent the Fourth of July at my Grandmother’s house. She was canning tomatoes. She always keeps a garden.
This was an Obama rally on the steps of the capital. The special guest was Hillary Clinton.
Race for the Cure with Team Fabulous. That is a fun group of women, y’all.
These were some great guys and this sign still cracks me up.
Went to Kennett Missouri to campaign for Obama. Also stopped by Tennessee to have dinner and beer with Kevin.
My friend’s son celebrated his 10th birthday at the bowling alley. I got to come along. I got conned into serving the ice cream. GAH!
This is the County Clerk and the Chief of Police getting into a heated argument over why he can’t close the parking area of the fire station for a training exercise on the same day the fire station is being used as a polling place. Oh it was craziness. This was also in Missouri.
I ran Craig’s Jingle Bell 5K.
DMZ 20 year reunion show at Vino’s with Matt Besser. Good times.
Christmas came and went. That’s the food. NOM NOM
There you go. While there were ups and downs, it seems to be a good year.
Don’t you just hate it when you are put in a situation that frustrates you and then ten minutes later, you think of the perfect response? Or you want to be tactful and so you don’t exactly tell the truth. Or you’re just chickenshit and don’t express your true feelings. Yeah I have those moments too. Here are some of those thoughts.
- You, me, everybody and their mama knows that you don’t give a crap about this community. You only care about yourself. That letter you wrote didn’t fool anybody.
- You’re a bigot that puts the ass in assbackwards. I am ashamed to be related to you
- You’re smart, funny, cute, and have a treasure trove of varied interests. I am truly surprised you don’t realize how fucking awesome you are. I want to kiss you smack dab on the mouth and stay up til the wee hours of the morning talking about bullshit. Your bullshit is more entertaining than John Stewart.
- I’m sorry I’m not a petty, vindictive good old boy. Oh wait, I’m not.
- Maybe it’s been years since you’ve been in a relationship because you’re too self centered to notice anyone else or their needs. I’m just saying.
- You are my hero. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me but I’m a loser like this.
- We’re not friends because I think you take me for granted and I hate the person I become when interacting with you. I feel you don’t respect my boundaries and that I have to constantly keep my guard up or you will suck me dry. That’s no way to live. I do remember you fondly and you will always have a small part of my heart.
- YES WE DID. CHANGE DID COME! I am so impressed by you. Have a great inauguration! (oops this one is easy to figure out). BUT shame on you for not liking “girly dogs” Breezy is a girly dog but she is awesome AND hypoallergenic. Breezy the white bichon frise would be the perfect white house dog.
- Woah you really let yourself go. Get off your ass and lose some poundage. damn.
- Okay that little know it all kiss the teacher’s ass while stabbing your colleagues in the back bullshit you got going on is old.
- When I heard that you married a wealthy doctor who is ten years your senior, I thought to myself, “yeah he always wanted to be a kept man.” I feel very sad that our relationship has deteriorated to the point that this is the first thought I think.
- Look I don’t care who you are, the ten items or less means ten ITEMS or less not ten BAGS OF ITEMS or less. Shame on you, you fucking bitch. And shame on your ms. cashier for not calling her on it. Oh and the part where you act like I’m in the wrong for saying something, well you’re lucky I didn’t send a letter to corporate with your name on it.
- Alright, your power is going out. I waited until it got especially cold to tell Detroit that your account is with a fake identity. Sucks to be you, you big criminal. At least jail will be warmer than your no power place.
People, in general, tend not to like lawyers. We’ve all heard the lawyer jokes.
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
“How much does it cost for engineer brain?”
“Three dollars an ounce.”
“How much does it cost for programmer brain?”
“Four dollars an ounce.”
“How much for lawyer brain?”
“$1,000 an ounce.”
“Why is lawyer brain so much more?”
“Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?”
So today, when I stopped by my office, I was a little amused and horrified to see this.
Uh oh. Is that what I think it is? Let’s look closer.
It is. It is. Now I know people who have said I was full of crap. I have have never had anyone leave a visual aid before today.
Of course, this could just be a coincidence and the unfortunate side effect of our tiny hamlet not having any pooper scooper laws. (that is a big dog). Then again, the other office mate in my office complex is non profit that works with juvenile delinquents.
I left the one in the house and another cat outside because I couldn’t find him. Then I went over the hills and through the woods to grandma’s house. Literally.
By the time I got there, everyone else had eaten the Christmas eve dinner of Ham, pimento and cheese sandwiches, salad, and as much snack food type things as you can imagine. That has been the tradition. Back in the day, everybody and their mama used to come to my grandma’s house and celebrate Christmas eve at her house. Sometimes, there would be booze. There is a particularly rowdy year when I was 12 where I think everyone including my 10 year old brother got closer to hammered than the child welfare people would have liked. But oh what a memory that was.
Now that we’re grown, most of those families that used to come visit have grown kids and they celebrate Christmas eve at their own houses. But my grandmother still cooks like 30 people are going to show up.
Another tradition is that we open presents on Christmas eve. This is also a take off from our youth. Back in the day,we would open our presents on Christmas eve to make room under the tree for Santa to open and set up our presents. OH it was a good time. Of course, we got old and said we didn’t believe in Santa and so he doesn’t come around anymore no matter how many times I send a letter to the North Pole telling him I was just kidding.
I got a GPS navigator for the car, some cash, makeup (my brother always buys me makeup), and other assorted nicknacks. It was fun. Mom got clothes. My grandmother got all sorts of riotous gear.
Today we had the traditional turkey and dressing fest with turkey, cornbread dressing, baked beans, green salad, potato salad, fruit salad, cookies, pies, and sweet potatoes. I’m sure I’m missing something but you get the idea.
It was also a reunion with Breezy the best dog in the world and myself. Oh she loves me. There was a jumping and a licking and barking. Those were some good times.
I also ran an easy four miles.
Also, Breezy has a sore back leg and can’t jump up on the bed anymore. (She sleeps with my grandmother). So she got little step ladder so she can get back on the bed without whining and waking up my grandmother. Last night, I managed to step on that thing and go timber to the ground. I got some major carpet burn on one knee. OH it was a funny thing to see. HA ha and more ha.
Now that I’m older and busier, I appreciate just being able to hang out with my family and relax. Doing nothing used to be boring and now it’s a luxury.
I am not a very good cook. Once, I burned the Rice-a-roni. So any time the culinary arts are pursued, it’s with tense anticipation and a little spirit of adventure. Will I forget an ingredient? Will the yeast actually rise? Will the fire department be making a special guest appearance? All of these things could happen.
So this year I decided to participate in the family annual cookie spree. Instead of making treats of cakes and pies, our family makes cookies– lots of different types of cookies. As far as I know, this year’s festivities will include gingersnaps, chocolate chip, sugar cookies in the shape of feet (it’s a family tradition), and black and white cookies.
I made the black and white cookies. Black and white cookies are a staple of New York bakeries. They are so quintessential New York City that they even made a guest appearance on Seinfeld.
I found this recipe on epicurious and thought I’d give it a try. According to the reviews, it seemed fairly authentic and not hard to make.
I mix the dough and then I load it up via 1/4 cup spoonfuls like the instructions said.
Then as I wait for them to bake, I see the bowl of buttermilk and vanilla sitting by the OVEN. CRIKEY!!!
The fuck ups looked like this and turned out to be very tasty. They had the consistency of a very packed biscuit but sweet.
I made another batch and put the icing on and voila!
