Melissa Runs

Sometimes, Melissa runs her legs. Sometimes, she runs her mouth.

Tag: funny


From the kids who bought you Dick in a Box, it’s “MOTHERLOVER” If you missed this weekend’s Saturday Night Live, well you missed out. This might be the funniest thing I’ve seen in 2009 so far. …. okay kids, I can’t embed the thing. You’re just going to have to click the link.


Wanda Sykes performed at the White House Correspondents Dinner, otherwise known on Twitter as “nerdprom”

Part II

There is quite a lot of controversy about this bit. Part of is due to Wanda saying that she hopes Rush Limbaugh’s Kidneys fail. It was in response to Limbaugh saying that he hoped the Obama administration fails. Her response:

“He just wants the country to fail,” Sykes said of Limbaugh. “To me that’s treason. He’s not saying anything different than what Osama Bin Laden is saying. You might want to look into this, sir, because I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker but he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. … Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country fails, I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a good waterboarding, that’s what he needs.”

Strangely enough, the comparing speech that is harsh and questioning of the Presidency with treason was the mantra of the day every day during the Bush administration: “You’re with us or against us” Oh how times have changed. Some of the more fringe elements of the Right have been insinuating that Obama is Muslim and a terrorist for quite a while but when Wanda Sykes does it to one of their “hometown heroes” OH this is how it works.

As far as Rush Limbaugh personally, he who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He’s said nasty things about a lot of people. He said some HORRIBLE things about Bill Clinton. I’m not sure that he’s really a person who has much leeway to get offended by anything anybody else says about him. Strangely enough, Limbaugh himself hasn’t had any response to the Sykes comments.

“Teardrop” by Massive Attack. It’s the theme song to TV show HOUSE. Okay I just like it.

When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

I checked When You Are Engulfed in Flames out of the local library along with some other books.

David and his sister Amy are what you would call “eccentric” people. They are from North Carolina. David is gay and writes funny stories based on his life. Actually, I think they may be true or based on true events— similar to an online journal or a “diary style blog” Of course, his writings happen to be funnier and are published in magazines and book form. Well some of them are funnier. That time Pamie and AB Chao had Vince run over the fish was pee in the pants funny— funnier than Sedaris. Or the time, AB Chao ran over some lady. Yes she hit somebody with her car. Yes I’m going to hell for laughing about it.

Ahem… anyway. So when Sedaris scores, he scores big. You will laugh so hard and think he’s the greatest story teller ever. When he’s not, you’re looking at the last page of the book to see how much longer you have to read.

This book was the second. Not to say that there aren’t some funny stories in here or that it’s not worth reading. It’s just not one of his best and some of the tales/essays had me skimming and seeing how much more I had left of the book before I get to turn it back in to the library. Not a good sign.

Maybe its’ because in the South, telling stories about the goofy stuff you did is part of the cultural landscape. It’s what we do in the country. Sit on the porch, drinking tea (or Coke… I hate tea), listening to Uncle Glen talk about what happened at the Piggly Wiggly this morning when this one woman bought six boxes of tampons.

If you’re a fan read it. If not, try one of his other books first. He really is funny. This just isn’t his best.

2008 sucked but not completely

Yeah this year was bad. The economy went to the toilet. People are losing their houses and their jobs. It’s chaos. Some fool managed to steal my identity and I am having fun with creditors. Also, I no longer have a job I hated. This is a good and bad thing. The bad thing is that my income went down—way down.

Here are some recaps.

Poop on the sidewalk in front of my office: BAD

A very special Christmas present

George W. Bush getting a shoe thrown at his head: GOOD. REAL GOOD

Sarah Palin’s interview with Katie Couric: BAD BAD BAD

Tina Fey’s mocking of Sarah Palin’s interview with Katie Couric: GREAT!

Team Fabulous racing for the Cure.

Team Fabulous 2008


Tripping over Breezy’s Christmas present and breaking it.

uh oh.


Michael Phelps winning a gazillion gold medals. GOOD

Chinese gymnast age controversy. BAD

Usain Bolt = Good/bad

Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker in The Dark Knight. GOOD

Heath Ledger dying. BAD. Very very bad.

Going to Erica’s Halloween party. GOOD (even GREAT)
Everyone and their Mama (including my own MAMA) forgetting my birthday. BAD… real bad. (okay I got some props from facebook but seriously no freaking phone calls or acknowledgement in the non-internet realm. That is sucking y’all.

Canvassing for Obama: good

Canvassing map

Poll watching/voter protecting for Obama: even better.

Voting Rights team represent.

Obama winning: fan-freaking awesome.

More hugging for an Obama win.

Racists going crazy after Obama wins. (thanks for putting the ass in assbackwards guys) BAD BAD BAD

Sarah Silverman fucking Matt Damon. Bad for Jimmy Kimmel Great for US!

Jimmy Kimmel’s revenge. EVEN BETTER!

Mission may be accomplished but the war's not over yet.

This now ubiquitous video of an Iraqi journalist throwing shoes at George W. Bush will never get old for me. In fact, I like it so much that I fear I will be placed on the terrorist watch list. Oh Baby Bush has some lightning fast reflexes there. It seems that he is used to people throwing crap at him.

Oh the hilarity.

The Little Rock Nine have been invited to attend the swearing in ceremony of Barack Obama. This was at the suggestion of Senator Mark Pryor who pretty much didn’t campaign for Obama AT ALL. The Arkansas Times reports that Elizabeth Eckford, 67, who still lives in the house where she grew up, said she can’t afford the trip. It turns out that she doesn’t want to go because she hates crowds and the cold.

Famous Eckerd photo

I guess if I went to school every day with a bunch of people yelling bad words at me, I would be hating crowds too.

The hilarious part is that Mark Pryor, the man who couldn’t be bothered to put up an Obama sign in his yard is now for having the Little Rock Nine come and the big time photo op that it entails. Did I mention he skipped out on the big Hillary for Obama rally on the Capital? Many many folks were completely lackluster in their campaigning even though Obama came here in 2006 to campaign for Mike Beebe.

Obama speaks
See the “vote for Beebe” sign? I told you.

This is very surprising and one answer for that just might be racism. In fact, John Brummett called the citizens of Arkansas out for it. (I can’t find the original link so here is the column about the letters received after the original column ran).

So when I read the article about the Tuskeegee airmen and the Little Rock Nine with the headline, “We’ve Completed Our Mission” from this quotation:

“The culmination of our efforts and others’ was this great prize we were given on Nov. 4,” he [retired Lt. William Broadwater, 82] said. “Now we feel like we’ve completed our mission. This inauguration will be the ultimate result.”

I’m sorry Mr. Broadwater but as long as there are people making jokes about whether Obama will plant a watermelon patch at the White house (something I endured at a funeral, of all places) or someone is raising a Confederate flag to protest the election or you see “The Anti-Christ Hussein Obama” at a tattoo parlor, the mission is not over. Unless you are referring to the fact that the Commander in Chief will be a black man which could be considered the ultimate end result of the Tuskeegee Airmen’s mission, then yes that mission will be accomplished January 20th.

But the war is definitely, definitely not over.

Fish and Chips

This “fish and Chips” logo on the back of a Mini Cooper in Little Rock cracked me up. There are so many fundamentalist that the “Jesus fish” is pretty ubiquitous around these parts. Every once ina while, I will see an “evolution fish” but this “fish and chips” fish makes me laugh. In fact, I think I want one for myself.

Totally awesome videos.

In the past couple of weeks, I have been sent videos from Youtube and other sources that are just amazing for one reason or the other. And now I thought I would pass on this awesomeness to you.

  1. Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel of “How I Met Your Mother” Sing “Confrontation” from Les Mis on the Megan Mullally Show. Any commentary I could give beyond this mere description would spoil it for you.

  2. Phillip Martin tipped me off on this one. One Hundred movie spoilers in five minutes.

  3. The infamous Sarah Palin turkey slaughter video from everywhere. Yeah you’ve probably seen this one but LAWD!

  4. This is about Christmas and buying stuff. Good stuff. (Not to be punny. Well okay I meant to be punny but in an ironic way. Who am I kidding? I’m a cheesy girl) from Advent Conspiracy. Special Shout out to BELLESOUTH who sent it my way. Okay she posted it on her blog.

  5. From MTV via Ta-Henisi Coates, another reason I love Obama.

    I’m not sure wordpress is going to let me embed this video so here is the static link HERE

  6. The Cartoon Network rickrolled the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. This will take years to get old. If I been awake and saw this play out, I might have busted my head on the floor from falling out of my chair laughing so hard.

  7. Pamie posted some tween drama.

wishing people well

Dear ex boyfriend from Hades,

Congratulations. I’m happy for you and am glad that you found love. Now if you treat her half as bad as you treated me and she leaves your butt, I’ll represent her for free in the divorce. Mazel Tov.

Just kidding (or AM I!?!?!?!?!?)

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