I have yet another funeral to attend. It’s a friend of the family. She was one hundred years old. It wasn’t a surprise. She had bleeding on the brain and wasn’t eating but yes. Three funerals in one week. That’s pretty spectacular for someone who isn’t in the medical or funeral home business and didn’t experience some epic tragedy like a school shooting or a bus accident.

As a person who likes to keep up on current affairs, I actually watched the Obama press conference. It, for the most part, was a very serious and somber occasion with questions about serious subjects that could mean the beginning of the apocalypse: economic distress, war in Afghanistan, Iran, health care, etc. There was one little item that turned my frown upside and caused a ferocious spat of giggles that put my pants in peril of being pee’d on. Here it is.

QUESTION: But on AIG, why did you wait — why did you wait days to come out and express that outrage? It seems like the action is coming out of New York and the attorney general’s office. It took you days to come public with Secretary Geithner and say, “Look, we’re outraged.” Why did it take so long?

OBAMA: It took us a couple of days because I like to know what I’m talking about before I speak.

I believe that’s called BOOO YAAAAA! I know he didn’t. oooh yes yes he did!

MEOW!

I know he didn't.

Both of my tom cats have absconded and haven’t been seen for two whole days. This is very unusual. Even if they stay outside, they’re usually lazy enough to come in and eat some food for 10 minutes before going back out. SO it’s very weird to not see them. Maybe they found a new family that serves better food. They are food whores.

I miss my babies. I hope they’re okay and haven’t gotten in any bad fights or eaten by big dogs. You laugh by my cat Max was mawled by a Rottweiller that someone let run around at night. (Our tiny town is too cheap to have a dog catcher work any time except 9 to 5. Everybody knows this and lets their dogs out after business hours).

I ran into a high school classmate of mine and we talked about our class. I asked about a classmate and he said that she was a big muckety mucket at a large bank. He also gave me her married surname and said he googled her. Well, I used to be a private investigator so far be it for me not to do my own googling investigation. Why yes she is at a large bank and she is high enough on the ladder to be giving statements to the press. I did see one article that used her name and the letters “CDO” I wrote my MBA friend and sent her the article, she writes back

Collateralized Debt Obligation these are the people that made those banks fail.

So I guess my classmate isn’t going to be showing up to the class reunion.

In other news, my brother changed the cell phone ring tone on my technologically tone deaf mother’s cell phone to crowing roosters. My mother, of course, has no idea how to change it back. Hilarity ensues.